Autor Tema: 😂 Smehoteka 🤣  (Pročitano 32033 puta)

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Van mreže Šmišonja*

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« Odgovor #10652 poslato: 27. Maj 2020. 05:34:04 »
Oplakah :histerija: Kopiram sa Fb :haha: (ko da je mene opisala za neke stvari :lol: )

NE ZNAM TKO JE AUTOR.... :rolf: :rolf: :rolf:

***** Imam 44 godine,metar i ćevap "visoka",72 kg težine.....poluteška kategorija BMI 28!

Ne mogu se obući ko sve normalne žene,doduše i ne tvrdim da JESAM normalna.Volim štikle ....straaaašno volim štikle ali....lijeva noga je već otišla helac,vene poiskakale ko rijeke na geografskoj karti!Kažu žene nipošto ne pipaj,šta god im radiš vraćaju se!Jebeš vene,trljaću ih sodom,jabukovim octom ,đumbirom. ..đumbir ne smijem zaboraviti!Trazit ću od Brizita zelenog paradajza da privijem, kažu da pomaže.. Procitala i na Googlu i tražila second opinion na Yahoo....potvrdio!Broj štikli je bio 37 al sve neke kalupe male upotrebljavaju.....kaže gospođa u radnji treba vam 38!Ma rekoh meni je i 18 previse gospođo! Broj cipela gospođo, s godinama stopala se sliježu i svih milion koščica u stopalu traže svoje mjesto znači i uz duž i poprijeko stopalo vam "raste".S kojim godinama krv ti jebem gospođo????Neću 38 hoću da uguram nogu u 37 jel ti jasno?Drugi problem je što štikla ne smije biti previsoka.Ne zato sto ne znam da hodam već što mi je muž "visok"metar i 2 ćevapa.Znaći....štikla ne smije da bude viša od 1 ćevapa!

Dalje....celuliti na butinama i guzici!Nije problem sto ih ja vidim nego što ih ovaj moj NE VIDI.Kažem mu "vidi bolan " on kaze "Dje bona??"pa jebem te ćorava jel ti vidiš"?? Ne vidi muško ništa....još kaže "de uzmi lupu da bolje vidiš, jebo te celulit"!

Stomak!Kaca!!!!!probam haljinu broj 40 moglo bi se navuć da nije trbušine, ovaj moj kaže "pa uzmi broj ili dva veću" Halooooo?NEĆU BROJ ILI DVA VEĆU, HOĆU DA STANEM PONOVO U BROJ 36 I DA SE MOGU OKRENUT U TOJ HALJINI.Vidi hud kolko je sati , odmahne glavom i kaže odoh ja tamo na alat da vidim bušilice. Idi jebale te bušilice! Srecom prodavačica razumije moje muke i kaže "mider vam je odlično rješenje!" Kupit ću mider!Mider je moj saveznik!Mider je moj brat najrođeniji!Kupila sam mider.....jebo mu ja mater i ko ga izmisli!
Disat ne možeš, još kad se "svrne" rub odozgo pa jebo te, kolje! Ko ona Mishelin lutkica izgledam ,od jednog šlaufa dva napravi.Ne volim mider!

Dalje....sise!(oho ho sad će blokada od finih gospođa... )
Kaže test ako stavis olovku ispod sise i olovka fino legne i ne ispada ....ne valja, vise!
Stavila olovku, vodootporni flomaster, čitavu pernicu sa voštanim i suhim bojicama,flomasterima, šestar ,gumica, olovke, naliv pero, kutomjer. . Dobre su ...ispada pernica sa tri pretinca! Ko ih jebe! Nit ću se udavat nit ću djecu dojit! Grudnjak je moj saveznik! I stare čarape naravno!

Eee nekad sam bogami znala obuć i bluze sa izvolteom! Nema više.....neke linije se pojavile,ne znam od kud ....
Eh glava ......znaci....dibidus! Nešto mi ćošak usne,,?,,??? Nema ga....oko očiju one bore gdje su vrane stojale dok su mi mozak pile! Cvikeri! 3 u 1!izmedju obrva "icka".....Čelo uvijek bilo malo, kažu što je manje čelo to je gluplja osoba.....smanjilo se jos više!

Ramišljam tako ..... ma ni na šta više ne ličim .I onda naiđe žena pored mene.
Štikle ,noge ko dupli halini direci, ima 200 kila u njoj,ne zna se sta je gležanj,šta list,šta koljeno, obukla dopičnjak haljinu sa baš dubokim izvolteom. Pupak joj medju sisama. Osmijeh na licu od uha do uha!

Pogledam u izlog i vidim se ....
Namignem sama sebi i kažem
"GDJE SI MILFAČO STARA"???
:stars: Šmiš :stars:

     Let me ask you something...
     If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?
     If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?
     If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other more?
     Do not try to fix whatever comes in your life. Fix yourself in such a way that whatever comes, you will be fine.


~ 7 Lots ~ Lenormand  ~ Letnje Astrološke Konsultacije

Van mreže Šmišonja*

  • One often meets his destiny on the road he tries to avoid it ~ Master Oogway
  • * Glavni & Odgovorni *
  • * Alhemičar *
  • *******
  • Poruke: 44874
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  • Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!
  • Pol: Žena
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Odg: Smehoteka
« Odgovor #10651 poslato: 23. April 2020. 15:47:33 »
:stars: Šmiš :stars:

     Let me ask you something...
     If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?
     If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?
     If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other more?
     Do not try to fix whatever comes in your life. Fix yourself in such a way that whatever comes, you will be fine.


~ 7 Lots ~ Lenormand  ~ Letnje Astrološke Konsultacije

Van mreže Šmišonja*

  • One often meets his destiny on the road he tries to avoid it ~ Master Oogway
  • * Glavni & Odgovorni *
  • * Alhemičar *
  • *******
  • Poruke: 44874
  • Reputaciona snaga: 36878
  • Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!
  • Pol: Žena
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Odg: Smehoteka
« Odgovor #10650 poslato: 09. April 2020. 00:52:04 »
:stars: Šmiš :stars:

     Let me ask you something...
     If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?
     If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?
     If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other more?
     Do not try to fix whatever comes in your life. Fix yourself in such a way that whatever comes, you will be fine.


~ 7 Lots ~ Lenormand  ~ Letnje Astrološke Konsultacije

Van mreže Šmišonja*

  • One often meets his destiny on the road he tries to avoid it ~ Master Oogway
  • * Glavni & Odgovorni *
  • * Alhemičar *
  • *******
  • Poruke: 44874
  • Reputaciona snaga: 36878
  • Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!
  • Pol: Žena
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Odg: Smehoteka
« Odgovor #10649 poslato: 05. April 2020. 18:38:23 »
:stars: Šmiš :stars:

     Let me ask you something...
     If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?
     If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?
     If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other more?
     Do not try to fix whatever comes in your life. Fix yourself in such a way that whatever comes, you will be fine.


~ 7 Lots ~ Lenormand  ~ Letnje Astrološke Konsultacije

Van mreže bozicso*

  • Gde se pametan opece tu lud napravi rostilj
  • Prijatelj Foruma
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  • bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!
  • Pol: Muškarac
Odg: Smehoteka
« Odgovor #10648 poslato: 05. April 2020. 10:42:11 »
Pred nama je još jedan buran mjesec, pogledajte što nam donosi horoskop

OVAN
Bit ćete kod kuće do kraja mjeseca.

VODENJAK
Bit ćete kod kuće do kraja mjeseca.

RIBE
Bit ćete kod kuće do kraja mjeseca.

BIK
Bit ćete kod kuće do kraja mjeseca.

BLIZANCI
Bit ćete kod kuće do kraja mjeseca.

RAK
Bit ćete kod kuće do kraja mjeseca.

LAV
Bit ćete kod kuće do kraja mjeseca.

DJEVICA
Bit ćete kod kuće do kraja mjeseca.

VAGA
Bit ćete kod kuće do kraja mjeseca.

ŠKORPION
Bit ćete kod kuće do kraja mjeseca.

STRIJELAC
Bit ćete kod kuće do kraja mjeseca.

JARAC
Bit ćete kod kuće do kraja mjeseca.

Van mreže Šmišonja*

  • One often meets his destiny on the road he tries to avoid it ~ Master Oogway
  • * Glavni & Odgovorni *
  • * Alhemičar *
  • *******
  • Poruke: 44874
  • Reputaciona snaga: 36878
  • Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!
  • Pol: Žena
  • Um traži, ali srce nalazi...
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Odg: Smehoteka
« Odgovor #10647 poslato: 31. Mart 2020. 12:56:11 »

:stars: Šmiš :stars:

     Let me ask you something...
     If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?
     If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?
     If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other more?
     Do not try to fix whatever comes in your life. Fix yourself in such a way that whatever comes, you will be fine.


~ 7 Lots ~ Lenormand  ~ Letnje Astrološke Konsultacije

Van mreže bozicso*

  • Gde se pametan opece tu lud napravi rostilj
  • Prijatelj Foruma
  • *Drugar iz komšiluka *
  • *****
  • Poruke: 635
  • Reputaciona snaga: 2777
  • bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!
  • Pol: Muškarac
Odg: Smehoteka
« Odgovor #10646 poslato: 22. Mart 2020. 10:41:01 »
Korona horoskop

Van mreže Šmišonja*

  • One often meets his destiny on the road he tries to avoid it ~ Master Oogway
  • * Glavni & Odgovorni *
  • * Alhemičar *
  • *******
  • Poruke: 44874
  • Reputaciona snaga: 36878
  • Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!
  • Pol: Žena
  • Um traži, ali srce nalazi...
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Odg: Smehoteka
« Odgovor #10645 poslato: 23. Februar 2020. 16:33:27 »
 :histerija: :histerija: :histerija:
:stars: Šmiš :stars:

     Let me ask you something...
     If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?
     If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?
     If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other more?
     Do not try to fix whatever comes in your life. Fix yourself in such a way that whatever comes, you will be fine.


~ 7 Lots ~ Lenormand  ~ Letnje Astrološke Konsultacije

Van mreže bozicso*

  • Gde se pametan opece tu lud napravi rostilj
  • Prijatelj Foruma
  • *Drugar iz komšiluka *
  • *****
  • Poruke: 635
  • Reputaciona snaga: 2777
  • bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!bozicso is awe-inspiring!
  • Pol: Muškarac
Odg: Smehoteka
« Odgovor #10644 poslato: 23. Februar 2020. 09:47:07 »
-dobro veće,pošto je Durex?
 780 dinara
-ništa daćete mi Labelo,samo ćemo se ljubimo

Van mreže Šmišonja*

  • One often meets his destiny on the road he tries to avoid it ~ Master Oogway
  • * Glavni & Odgovorni *
  • * Alhemičar *
  • *******
  • Poruke: 44874
  • Reputaciona snaga: 36878
  • Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!Šmišonja is awe-inspiring!
  • Pol: Žena
  • Um traži, ali srce nalazi...
    • Wordpress Dnevnik Jednog Astrologa
Odg: Smehoteka
« Odgovor #10643 poslato: 16. Decembar 2019. 21:23:59 »
:smeh: :haha: :histerija:
:stars: Šmiš :stars:

     Let me ask you something...
     If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?
     If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?
     If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other more?
     Do not try to fix whatever comes in your life. Fix yourself in such a way that whatever comes, you will be fine.


~ 7 Lots ~ Lenormand  ~ Letnje Astrološke Konsultacije